Don't mess with Chuck Norris, especially you, Java developer

  • Chuck Norris serializes objects straight into human skulls.
  • Chuck Norris doesn’t deploy web applications, he roundhouse kicks them into the server.
  • Chuck Norris always uses his own design patterns, and his favorite is the Roundhouse Kick.
  • Chuck Norris could use anything in java.util.* to kill you, including the javadocs.
  • Chuck Norris can hit you so hard your web app will turn into a swing application, and a very bad swing application containing lots of icons of human skulls.
  • Chuck Norris demonstrated the meaning of Float.POSITIVE_INFINITY by counting to it, twice.
  • A synchronize doesn’t protect against Chuck Norris, if he wants the object, he takes it.
  • Chuck Norris doesn’t use javac, he codes java by using a binary editor on the class files.
  • Chuck Norris’ java code never needs to be optimized. His code is so fast that it broke the speed of light during a test run in Sun’s labs killing 37 people.
  • When someone attempts to use one of Chuck Norris’ deprecated methods, they automatically get a roundhouse kick to the face at compile time.
  • And the rest . . .

    http://www.methegeek.com/?p=60