Screaming Penguin

Check this very funny reptile Microsoft parody: Baltazar the Nile monitor. Besides being a geek I am an amateur herpetologist (study of reptiles and amphibians, no more venereal disease jokes please) and I stumbled upon this very funny and very well designed parody page while looking for some info on my newest animal, RA, a Nile monitor (varanus niloticus). These lizards are the largest in Africa (7-11ft) and are notoriously aggresive with a serious mouth full of teeth, they are fast as lightning, and they are intelligent. Yeah, Komodo dragons get bigger in terms of bodyweight, but these guys are much faster. Sounds like loads of fun. Some of the feeding tips are: Use heavy leather welding gloves, use metal tongs, keep vinegar-rum nearby to get the lizard off of you should you be bitten, and always have another person present in case of a real emergency. I adopt reptiles that are mistreated, homeless (not indigenous, of course) and or sick. RA is a sickly 6 inch long Nile monitor, so he isnt the underworld dragon described above, yet. But we will have him in good health in no time. Also, just an FYI, if anyone has any monitor experience or expertise, please let me know. I am a snake guy and I am new to monitors. I have many resources to find out how to care for him, but any firsthand help is welcomed.