Screaming Penguin - Source Does Matter

This extremely witty and cool piece of literature/art/creative something was originaly sent to me by a patronizing @!#$ who has a job. At first, I had no audio on my computer and the really sad thing about it was that I DIDN'T EVEN NEED SOUND TO LAUGH MY ASS OFF! I completely understood it...Then I fixed my speaker and heard it with sound and felt like a total LOSER because our lives ARE THE SAME! I actually even know who Sponge Bob Square Pants is because, well, I just do and I don't even have any kids... AHHHHHH!!!!! So I got really mad at the person who sent it to me and e-mailed him back telling him that I did not need to be reminded right now that I had no job. Then I thought that this dude and the whole world was against me and then I had to send out MORE RESUMES but did you know that in December? THE WHOLE COUNTRY SHUTS DOWN and there is no one right now that "can do anything for me until after New Year's" so I think I just need to drink some more Bud Ice and watch more "Life Time", television for women and ride it out. I eat those animal crackers with the little stringy handle and cheetos... I have major issues with Williams-Sonoma and I call them and bitch them out because they have my money from a part-time job I used to have and if you really want to feel empowered, just bitch out someone in retail. Call them and tell them that, "No" you don't want to be put on hold...Take your broken electronic @!#$ back to Radio Shack (even though you didn't even probably buy it there)and just harrass the high school kid who is trying to do a good job. Then say, "I want to see your manager." This really sucks. And...before I had even seen this thing by Odd Todd, I called U-Haul to reserve a truck to move back to Chicago. I also called a few others to do some "price comparisons" so I would look a little responsible and maybe like an "educated consumer". Then I freaked and called my mom and she told me that she could have my dad go down in the basement and bring my little white old canopy bed upstairs (like, right?) and put me back in my old room with all of my horse ribbons and my Breyers horses and my Hollie Hobby comfortor -"to make me feel better". And I just pictured her like doing my laundry and bringing me to the mall because I have no car because like I live in NY and don't need one. Just the thought of going to that DMV made me flip...they have so much power there and if I went there to actually get a license, I would probably wait in a line for hours and hours and when I got up to the counter...I would be "missing a very important document". I think if that actually happened to me right now. I would just collapse like a little baby there and sob uncontrolably. So,I just drank another Bud Ice and prayed for January to hurry up and get here. God bless you, Odd Todd. And you aren't odd.