Screaming Penguin - Source Does Matter

Received this e-mail today. Very funny stuff.

--
At a recent computer expo (COMDEX), Bill Gates
reportedly compared the computer industry with
the auto industry and stated: "If GM had kept up
with the technology like the computer industry
has, we would all be driving $25.00 cars that got
1,000 miles to the gallon."

In response to Bill's comments, General Motors
issued a press release stating:
If GM had developed technology like Microsoft,
we would all be driving cars with the following
characteristics:

l. For no reason whatsoever, your car would crash
twice a day.

2. Every time they repainted the lines in the road,
you would have to buy a new car.

3. Occasionally your car would die on the freeway
for no reason. You would have to pull over to
the side of the road, close all of the windows,
shut off the car, restart it, and reopen the
windows before you could continue. For some
reason you would simply accept this.

4. Occasionally, executing a maneuver such as a
left turn would cause your car to shut down and
refuse to restart, in which case you would have
to reinstall the engine.

5. Only one person at a time could use the car
unless you bought "CarNT," but then you would
have to buy more seats.

6. Macintosh would make a car that was powered
by the sun, was reliable, five times as fast
and twice as easy to drive- but would run
on only five percent of the roads.

7. The oil, water temperature, and alternator
warning lights would all be replaced by a
single "General Protection Fault" warning light.

8. New seats would force everyone to have the same
sized butt.

9. The airbag system would ask "are you sure" before
deploying.

10. Occasionally for no reason whatsoever, your car
would lock you out and refuse to let you in
until you simultaneously lifted the door handle,
turned the key and grabbed hold of the radio
antenna.

11. GM would require all car buyers to also purchase
a deluxe set of Rand McNally road maps (now a GM
subsidiary), even though they neither need nor
want them. Attempting to delete this option
would immediately cause the car's performance to
diminish by 50% or more. Moreover, GM would
become a target for investigation by the Justice
Dept.

12. Every time GM introduced a new car, car buyers
would have to learn to drive all over again
because none of the controls would operate in
the same manner as the old car.

13. You'd have to press the "Start" button to turn
the engine off.